The separation checklist: 14 things to do in the first week.

A separation is rarely a single conversation. It is a sequence of decisions, made under pressure, with consequences that play out months later. This checklist covers the practical actions that protect your position regardless of how the matter eventually resolves.

In the first 72 hours

1. Confirm the separation date in writing. Send a calm message to your former partner stating the date you consider the relationship to have ended. The date matters for property pool valuation and the 12-month time limit on de facto property claims under s44(5) of the Family Law Act.
2. Photograph your assets. Phone-camera photographs of jewellery, art, vehicles, and significant chattels — with date stamps — reduce disputes later about who owned what.
3. Download your last 12 months of bank statements, super statements, and tax returns. Save them somewhere you control. If you don’t have copies, request them now. Disclosure later in proceedings is mandatory and far less convenient.
4. Don’t move large sums of money. Don’t close joint accounts unilaterally. Don’t transfer assets out of joint names. The court can reverse transactions that look like dissipation, and unilateral moves are taken into account at the contribution and just-and-equitable stages.

Day 3 to day 7

1. Speak to a family lawyer. A 30-minute first consultation is free or low-cost at most firms. Even if you don’t engage them, you’ll know whether you need a binding financial agreement, consent orders, or a court application.
2. Open an individual bank account. Have your salary, Centrelink, or other income directed to it from the next pay cycle. This is not "hiding money" — it’s separating your future earnings from joint use.
3. Change your superannuation beneficiary nomination if your former partner is the named beneficiary. Most super funds allow you to do this online in five minutes.
4. Update your will. Separation does not automatically revoke a will in most states. If you die before updating it, your estranged spouse may still inherit. See our guide on wills and separation.
5. Change passwords on personal accounts. Email, cloud storage, social media. Avoid joint accounts (bank, utility) until you have legal advice.
6. Document the children’s caring routine. Who does drop-off, pick-up, bedtime, weekends. Keep a calendar or diary entry. The status quo at separation often becomes a reference point for parenting orders.

What to avoid in the first week

1. Don’t post on social media about the separation. Anything you post can end up in court evidence. Anything you delete can be subpoenaed anyway.
2. Don’t move out without legal advice. Moving out doesn’t cost you your share of the property pool, but it can affect parenting status quo and your ability to negotiate from a position of access.
3. Don’t sign anything your former partner asks you to sign in the first week. Not a separation agreement, not a transfer, not a release. Get advice first.
4. Don’t hide assets. Disclosure is mandatory and non-disclosure can result in an adjustment against you, contempt, or set-aside of any agreement reached.

If there is family violence

If you or your children are at risk, contact the police or your state’s family violence service. 1800RESPECT (1800 737 732) is a 24-hour national service. An apprehended violence order (in NSW), intervention order (VIC), or equivalent in your state can be sought urgently and does not prejudice your property or parenting position. A family lawyer can apply on your behalf.

Time limits to know

• Divorce application: can be filed after 12 months of separation.
• De facto property claims: must be filed within 2 years of separation (s44(5) FLA).
• Married couple property claims: must be filed within 12 months of the divorce order taking effect.
• Spousal maintenance: same time limits as property.

Out-of-time applications can be made with leave but the threshold is high. Don’t miss the dates.